Collateral Damage
by coffee dazed
Summary: set post final episode series 3. mattesha


**_Note: _**_There's going to be an LOUK shaped hole on Thursday nights so this fic is for all the dedicated mattesha fans out there, _AmyVS7, you know who you are! lol. Anyway, hope you like.

**Collateral Damage**

Alesha couldn't bring herself to meet Matt's eyes as he stood in the witness stand. She had to force herself to listen as James launched his verbal assault on the detective who was also supposed to be his friend. Alesha felt sick as the barrister carefully and precisely took apart Matt's good professional reputation and left behind a torn and (perhaps irreparably damaged) shell when he had finished.

_Collateral damage_. That's what James had called Matt when she had pulled him up on the way he had treated the young detective on the stand. She had the greatest respect for the senior barrister, looked up to him and admired him but there was a part of Alesha that would never forgive James as her mind clearly pictured the way Matt's jaw had clenched as he fought to hold back his emotions and defend his character both as a detective and as a person. Then the moment came when the jury foreman announced their verdict and Matt had abruptly left the courtroom, clearly upset at the day's events.

Alesha hung back after the court case had been concluded and she had helped to pack up all the case notes ready to take back to the office, telling James that she would make her own way back. Knowing how unhappy she was with him, James had agreed without protest and left her to it.

It was getting dark outside now and Alesha had looked all over for Matt without any sign of him, as far as she knew, he had not left the courts – at least, nobody appeared to have seen him leave but it was a big place with many, many faces, some of them wanted to be seen, others preferred to try to remain anonymous. She sighed and was about to leave when a thought came to her and she made her way to a side stairway.

Alesha saw Matt and Ronnie standing on the roof of the building but she was too far from them to hear what they were saying – in any case, she thought that she would rather not hear. It was a conversation between friends and colleagues and one that was for the detective partners only.

She retreated quietly back down the stairs and waited patiently in a side chamber until eventually, she saw Ronnie walk past the half-closed door. It was another several long minutes before Matt's footsteps sounded, a half-hearted scuffing of heels on the polished floor unlike his usual neat, paces that covered the distance smoothly and efficiently. Alesha waited a moment more then grabbed her bag and the armful of files and walked out of the room, the heels of her court shoes clicking on the hard floor.

The sharp clicks made Matt turn his head to see who was moving behind him.

Alesha stopped when Matt did. The look on his face was neither immediately warm nor welcoming, instead it scared her – not in an axe-wielding-murderer-coming-at-you kind of way but more the way someone might be afraid of a friendship in danger of ending.

She saw the way his jaw clenched a few times and her stomach knotted anxiously. "Are…are you alright? I thought you had already gone." Alesha could have kicked herself as soon as the words left her mouth. Did she really expect him to be alright after the grilling he had been subjected to? If it had been her in the stand, she would be angry, upset and resentful that the people who she thought were on her side turned out to be against her.

She couldn't read the look in his eyes and there was an awkward pause before he replied. "Ah, no, I went for a walk." Alesha didn't miss the fact that he avoided her question.

"Oh." Neither of them had closed the gap between them and neither were about to make the first move. Finally, it was Alesha who relented. "Do you want to go for a pint? My round." She gave a little hopeful smile.

Matt was still angry and it especially hurt him that Alesha had been part of the prosecution's tactic. His feelings for her made the perceived betrayal worse and a big part of him wanted to tell her where she could stick her pint. However, the rational side of him realised that he did not want to lose her and so he bit back his initial reaction.

"Sure, I could do with a drink right about now."

Alesha felt relief wash over her and she felt her shoulders relax. "Great, well, let me quickly drop these back and we'll head to the pub."

* * *

The pub was quite busy and Alesha was glad of it as it helped to drown out the uncharacteristic silence that fell over her and Matt. He had knocked back the first pint faster than usual and was now nursing his second as he noticed that his companion had still to get three quarters of the way through her gin and tonic. They had done the small talk part, leaving the main issue unsaid yet hanging heavy in the air between them.

Finally, the moment came which they could not ignore any longer. It was Matt who spoke.

"So why?"

Alesha knew fine well what Matt meant and wasn't going to insult by asking him to elaborate.

"We had to, it was the only way to give our case a decent chance of success." She squirmed slightly.

"No, I get _why_. What I meant was, did you have to totally destroy my character to get your conviction?"

"We had to try and show that the police report could have been mistaken." Alesha found herself in the uncomfortable position of trying to soften the blow for Matt whilst defending not only James and herself but the integrity of the entire CPS.

"James basically told the world that I'm a bad copper." The words were said simply and quietly as if all of a sudden, all the fight had been taken out of him. Matt's expression was like that of a little boy lost, unsure of where to go and what to do.

Alesha felt as if her heart was a heavy weight in her chest and she impulsively reached a hand out to him. "I'm sorry, Matt. I never knew he was going to do that." Her eyes were wide and sincere.

"You didn't know he was going to discredit my report?" He looked unconvinced and he seemed to ignore her hand on his arm.

She looked away guiltily. "No, I knew that bit," she admitted softly before adding, "I didn't know that he would be so…um… severe."

Matt said nothing, just stared at the floor while Alesha watched him helplessly. "It'll be ok." Alesha fumbled for something supportive to say.

He shook his head.

"It will, you'll be fine."

Blue eyes shot up at her, cold fire in them. "No, Alesha, it won't. My career, my reputation, it's all been shot to pieces! From now on, any time I investigate a case, every time I file a report, if anything goes wrong, people will think 'Devlin wrote it, we better check it again.' You could have given me some warning."

He abruptly stood up and pulled on his coat.

"Where are you going?" asked Alesha, trying to hide how upset she was feeling.

"I need to go home." He left without looking back at her.

Alesha felt stuck to her chair as her eyes followed him out and she murmured, "I didn't know."

* * *

Matt gulped in a few deep breaths of the autumn night air. His chest hurt and his head ached. He never thought he could be so cross with the one woman who he would give up his heart and soul for but it seemed he had been proved wrong. At the very least, Alesha had been in on James Steel's plan and all the fondness he had for her could not dispel the anger he felt at her involvement, whatever the degree.

He marched for home until, finally, he leaned back against the door of his flat as he closed it behind him with a satisfyingly loud 'click'. Glad for the peace and familiarity of his home, Matt threw his coat over the back of a chair, went through to the kitchen to grab a beer before returning to the living room and sinking down into the comforting softness of his sofa as he discarded his suit jacket next to him.

Matt closed his eyes as he took a deep gulp of beer. The chat with Ronnie on the rooftop hadn't helped. Sure, he understood why Ronnie had acted as he did, that the older detective had to follow his conscience but what he didn't get was why he couldn't have told him what he was going to do, why Ronnie couldn't give him a heads-up as to what to expect from the trial.

It felt like the deepest betrayal and the young man wasn't sure that his future lay with London Met, or any other force for that matter. The damage done to his personal reputation was something that would take him some to recover from and he didn't much feel like being around the people who had seemingly conspired to bring him down.

He caught himself and pinched the bridge of his nose. If he wasn't careful, he would sink down into his pit of resentment and not get back out again.

He took another swig and opening his eyes, reached for the TV remote. There might be something on to take his mind off the events of the day. A fast-food leaflet lay on the coffee table and Matt gave it a cursory glance, he usually ordered the same thing anyway – pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. He punched the numbers he now knew off by heart into the telephone where the friendly voice on the other end confirmed his order and told him it would arrive in the next 30 minutes.

* * *

A knock on the door startled Matt. Damn, he must have dozed off just after making the call. He fumbled in his jacket for his wallet while calling out, "Just a minute."

He opened the door. "How much do I owe you?" Matt looked up, a couple of notes in hand. "Alesha!"

"Hi Matt. Uh, I don't think you owe me anything, if anything, I owe you." Her brown eyes were soft and sincere.

"Um, I was just getting a…"

"Pizza for Devlin?" A youthful male voice called from behind Alesha who stepped to one side to reveal a teenager casually balancing a pizza box on one hand and producing a bill with the other.

"Yeah, that's me," said Matt who glanced at the bill and passed the notes to the delivery boy. "Keep the change."

The teenager grinned appreciatively, "Cheers mate, enjoy." He looked quickly at Alesha and gave her a wink before disappearing down the stairwell. "Have a good evening."

Matt stood in the doorway holding his pizza while Alesha loitered awkwardly, not sure where to look. She felt it had clearly been a mistake coming to see Matt who was making it plain that he had no wish to see her. Now, she had to think of a way to get out of the situation with minimal embarrassment. They spoke at the same time.

"I should go, leave you to it." Alesha made to go.

"Do you want to come in?" Matt stepped back to let her in.

"You were going to have a quiet night, I'll catch you later." She smiled apologetically.

"Honestly, it's alright." Now that he was looking at her, Matt didn't want her to leave.

She hesitated.

"Why did you come here?" The box was getting very hot in his hand but he couldn't just let her go like that.

"I wanted…wanted…" she groped for words which would not come to her. At last, she settled for, "I don't know what I wanted. I just knew I had to see you, apologise, talk, something like that."

"Come in." Matt urged Alesha and she did not refuse.

They sat at opposite ends of the sofa, the pizza now lying ignored on the coffee table.

Alesha's hands clasped together anxiously. "I don't know what else to say, Matt, except that I'm sorry and I wish it hadn't happened like that, not to you."

Matt's gaze fell on her mouth and the way she bit on her bottom. He felt a little shiver run down his spine and knew he couldn't stay angry at her for long even if he tried. "It's done now," he sighed defeatedly.

"What will you do?" She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

"I'm going to take some time off, think about things. I'm due my leave anyway."

"Are you going to come back?" Alesha couldn't stand the thought that she might not see Matt again, that she would be partly responsible for him leaving the force.

"I don't know. I'll need to speak to the guv."

"You're a good copper, Matt." She moved closer to him.

"Not according to everyone else." He wasn't sure how but he now found that she was right next to him and he could almost feel the warmth from her body.

"Matt, don't go. Take your leave but please come back." The junior crown prosecutor's voice was quietly pleading.

He stared at her silently, eyes questioning.

"Ronnie and Natalie will miss you, George and James too."

"And you?" Matt's heart was beating quickly.

"More than you would know." Alesha spoke the truth. Of course she was fond of him but she never realised how much she cared for Matt until faced with the prospect of his leaving her life. She lifted her hand to stroke his cheek.

They locked eyes as he covered her hand with his and leaned his face down to hers until they were millimetres from touching. She closed the remaining sliver of space and their lips met in a passionate yet tender kiss and it was several long moments before they broke apart.

Alesha gave Matt a mischievous grin. "Let me try and change your mind," she whispered as she kissed him again and brought her hands up to tangle in his hair.

Matt pulled her down to him as he lay back on the cushions. "I should warn you that I'm not easily convinced."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm trained to be very persuasive, isn't it?"

Matt laughed. Perhaps he was being hasty in thinking about leaving after all.

* * *

**_Roll on series 4! :D_**


End file.
